Recently we’ve been doing some serious soul searching and praying about the Why behind the What that is IHOP.
Why am I here? Why do I do Nightwatch? Why did I start this journey in the first place?
All of these questions need to be answered in order to keep an alive heart in the midst of the mundane daily routine.
For me I am here at the International House of Prayer because from a young age I felt the drawing of the Holy Spirit to be a man of prayer.
The past couple of months Holy Spirit has been reminding me of the little boy who didn’t want to got to kid’s church because I wanted to actually worship with the adults instead of be entertained. He’s been reminding me of the 6 year old who would weep during hymns, and would often go down to the altar for prayer. It must have baffled some of the elders. I remember one asking what was wrong, I answered something to the effect of, “nothing I just want to know Him better.”
Later in my teen years my youth pastor didn’t know what to do with me. I was on the leadership team as a 13-14 year old and would often pipe up with something I thought was on the Lords heart concerning our youth group only to get confused looks in return. It probably didn’t help that I was just as immature as any other 13 year old and in the same breath might say something really dumb. I’m sure I was a walking contradiction. But the point is in the midst of my hormones Jesus had his hand on my heart.
The night that started me on the path towards the Nightwatch was October 31st, 2001. (at least that’s the best date I can come up with. I know for sure it was Halloween) It’s what I like to call my upper room experience. There was a little prayer room in the back corner of the First Assembly of God church in Ft. Wayne IN. My mom and her intercessor friends and I would gather there every so often and I was the only one with any musical ability so it was up to me to be background music/worship for the four or five of us. But it was on this particular night when the thought of the many evil things that happen on a Halloween night made me also consider every other night. But who was doing anything Holy in the night?
The next year at the Onething conference in Kansas City I found out about the Fire in the Night internship and fell in love with the idea of spending time with God when no one else was. The worthiness of God to be worshipped at all hours was implanted in my heart at that conference and it would set me on a course to ignore the status quo go to college, work, go to church, reproduce, die, etc. (Note: I recognise the value of those things, minus dying, they’re just not for me in the normal American Dream format.)
So here I am in the Night worshiping and praying. Beholding and blessing the Lord by night (Psalm 134). Because Jesus is worthy of my praise in the night. When normally his name is profaned I hope that He can find a place to rest.
But what about your giftings? Shouldn’t you be pursuing your music career, and investing in the gift that was clearly given to you by God?
To this question my answer is that I want my life in the natural to be a complete waste. Like Mary with her costly perfume.
Before you think I’m just squandering my talents here’s my twist on the whole thing. Remember the servants who’s master gave them talents to invest? Two invested and one buried the gift. Rest assured I am by no means burying my talents. But I want you to consider that the other two brought what they earned with the talents back to the master. Which is exactly what I’m doing. I am investing in my talents, working on my musical ability with private lessons. Practicing daily, and then bring my investment back to the Lord every night using that which He gave me to bless him back.
This is my highest calling and is the desire of my heart. I want anyone looking from the outside calling me a fool because I could have been the next so-and-so. Or I could have played with what’s-his-name and made millions. Instead, “He’s wasting his life with the Nightwatch at the International House of Prayer?! What a waste!”
And as 2008 comes to a close, we are looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us in 2009. I’m not really sure what to be expecting, but I know it will be good.
